Maybe just maybe it warms the Father’s heart when we blundered into decisions because we are hoping beyond hope-because somewhere deep inside we do believe that the Father, Jesus’ Father is good. We believe that this beyond good thing is going to happen to us!! Maybe it delights the Father that even in all of our brokenness and for all the wrong reasons of self protection we make this decision because surely the Father has this wildly lavish gift of love for me.
I can look at a person’s life and tell what they believe about God. Even in old patterns that have been redeemed, but yet, that old anxiety gets triggered and I can’t sit in my quiet time, my feet begin to sweat as yet again I’m trusting beyond what I have yet experienced that this time things will turn out ok. Even though they never have.
It feels like life is this one pursuit, this relational exploration of Jesus and His Father through Holy Spirit is what life is really all about. More than a lavishly perfect gift, the Father has given me the eternal Son and everything that He has I have. I have been raised from the grave of the old man into this eternal life, a life wholly and purely loved by my Father. I share with His Son this face to face relationship with my Father. I can have these massively long conversations with Him, and rest in His rhema word to me, for this moment, for this situation, for this day!
Part of my heart is longing for the church for a community of those who have this same desire to know and trust the rhema word today, and I sat one day with the impossibility that, I would ever experience it and a window formed in the room I was sitting in, and it opened wide and wind flew out of it. Our Father is the God of the impossible and He wants us to trust Him in all situations. The rest of that impossible situation is the church I was in would never allow a female to lead anything and the window forming in my room was the message that in all places and in all times God can create life in the deadest of places. It’s not so much that I need to lead, but I do hear from the Lord and He has things to say through me, and the church doesn’t want to hear it. The very nature of the body of Christ has been denied in the Church. In love and in relationship we can receive from fellow believers and trust the Father to speak through them to us.
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