There is more...this archetype of abandonment from the mother also carriers this component of jealousy. Of course, as we navigate our relationships and we are loving and being loved we see not only a conditional love being expressed, I will love you only if you are actively loving me according to my definition, but now I see in my own relationships the need to be loved as a mother loves her child. When that love doesn’t come as expected then I revert to my conditional love. This conditional love is driven by jealousy, controlling love, expecting not to receive the love I need, believing another will get the love I deserve. I saw this play out with my own daughter the other day and I thought wait I am the mother, what and who am I to express conditional love to my daughter? How is it that all of a sudden we see these patterns of behavior in ourselves? The Lord has been showering His love on me and it has taken on a depth and width, height and even a character that has filled me to overflowing. The contrast is stark between my love and His. The very betrayal I have sought to forgive in my mother has become the expression of my love to those whom I really love most. The conditionality of my love will eventually act as a betrayal to those I love. Isn’t this the very heart of the Father to restore our brokenness, His sanctification process unfolds in our lives with such beauty. I can say I don’t enter this process without fear and trembling, as I can sense the rumbling of my very foundation, all the usual ways of doing business will be unearthed.
This way of loving makes people objects of greed to us. We must control and manipulate our relationships to get the satisfaction of a love that we define. Jealousy has ruled my life, and it’s resultant has been rejection. The never chosen one, and if I was chosen I rejected the choosing because it didn’t line up with my definition of love. So lie gets built upon lie and the enemy rushes in to line up circumstance with the lie. My mother prefers my sister and continues at almost every conversation to confirm that decision. My sister refuses any depth of conversation with me because she can’t afford to loose her position of the favored one. They are trapped and I can’t free them until the Lord heals me from the effect of those long held beliefs in the lies of the enemy. I do see restoration coming and me healed and loving my mother as a mother loves a child. I will be a mother to her, loving her as a mother loves a child. How perfect and Holy is our Lord.
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